Warrenton, Oregon is located in a low-lying swampland on the northwest corner of the Oregon coast. If you flew into PDX from another state, were blindfolded and told nothing of your destination, driven to Warrenton and dropped off in the woods near the North Coast Business Park, you might think you were in Louisana or the southeastern parts of Texas rather than the Oregon Coast. It’s swampy, flat and strange. But, maybe with more Western Hemlock and Sitka Spruce than you’d find in Louisiana. And the temperature would probably be a little different. I don’t know… you get the idea.
Oh yeah, you’d also be a fool. Never, ever, let anyone blindfold you and drive you somewhere from PDX.
On that note, here are the 7 most fascinating creatures in Warrenton, Oregon:
7. The Warrenton Opossum
These crazy little bastards can be found dead on just about every street in Warrenton. They’re definitely not native to Oregon. I’ve heard rumors that the pioneering families of Warrenton brought these with them from the south, especially Missouri, when they moved here. Maybe they were used as a food source, a pelt source, or were family pets. Any of these seem plausible, and regrettable, to The Warrenton Warrior.
6. The Harbor Seal
These little buggers are native to the Oregon Coast and can be found along the shores of the Columbia River. They smell absolutely horrible when they die. For some reason, you can find a lot of dead ones near the Carruther’s Memorial Restroom and Park near Tansy Point. My guess is that it’s where local Harbor Seals bury their dead.
3. The White Sturgeon
Skipping a couple here so we can keep things moving along. The Sturgeon is a prehistoric fish that is simultaneously uneasy on the eye and very delicious. These suckers are pretty ancient, dating back to the Triassic period over 200 million years ago (that’s about 6,000 years old for those of you who aren’t into that whole science thing). By the time these guys make it to the Warrenton Shores, they’re usually dead.
2. The DIY Samurai Woman On A Bike
I don’t know if she is still around, but she was a fascinating person when the Warrior lived there in the 80s and 90s. She could be found riding a bike from her home on the southern edge of Warrenton to various cannery jobs in the northern reaches of Warrenton with regularity. She always wore a patchwork kimono. She often had a samurai sword strapped to her back. There were a lot of rumors about who she was and how she lived back then. I doubt any of them were true. The one that I like to believe is that she was an avid Dungeons and Dragon’s player. I hope she’s doing well and/or has had a full life.
1. The Nutria
These nasty little freaks, also known as Rodents Of an Unusual Size (ROUSes), terrorize Warrenton with their smoker’s teeth and general bad attitude. Consider yourself lucky if you haven’t seen one– they look like degenerate beavers with a rat tail.
Also not native to Oregon, some bozo brought these to North America from the Amazon so they could be bred, used for their pelts, etc.
If you ever get close enough to one to smell it, they smell just like the skunk cabbage they feast upon. If you’re looking for that experience, look around Smith Lake or the reservoir off of Skippanon drive. They breed prodigiously in those areas.
And there you have it. The most fascinating creatures of Warrenton, Oregon.
The Warrenton Warrior