Warrenton, Oregon is precariously built upon two types of geological features: a formation of marine sediment and tuffaceous rocks in the south-central and south-eastern parts of the city limits, and dune sand in the western and northern parts of town
Does the Warrenton Warrior know how to party, or what?
While you think about that, I’ll tell you a little bit more about Warrenton, Oregon. Most of it sits just a few feet above sea-level, it’s flat as heck, and very swampy.
Warrenton’s geology and topography give if several fascinating features that delight its inhabitants and strike fear into its enemies to the south and across the Young’s Bay Bridge.
First, an extensive network of drainage ditches and culverts dot its neighborhoods and roadways, acting as moats to keep tourists from trespassing on lawns and in local businesses.
Secondly, Warrenton has hit reality TV show on the History Channel, called “Swamp People” (the show is a fictional docu-comedy, in the tradition of movies like Spinal Tap and Titanic, based on actual early Warrenton Settlers from the southern United States).
Finally, Warrenton, Oregon has AMAZING AREAS BELOW SEA LEVEL!!!
Let’s check out the top 10:
9. The Warrenton Marina
The bottom of the Warrenton Marina is below sea level. Boom!
8. The Backyards(s) of the Houses on NE 5th St.
The Warrior had a childhood friend who occupied this compound located on NE 5th st. The residing family kept 1-2 boats on hand to navigate the backyard during the fall, winter, and spring months. Just a crazy place, well below sea-level. This image highlights the general area that is most below sea-level.
6. Kamper’s West Campground
Just west of Tansy Creek, Kamper’s West is almost entirely below sea level. It’s very popular among the “Monster RV” crowd, who use Kamper’s West as a sort of litmus test to discover their own kind.
5. The Restrooms Under the Doughboy Statue
While not technically in Warrenton, the Doughboy statue and (former) memorial public restroom are in one of Astoria-Warrenton’s disputed territories. This monument’s builders decided to place the restroom safely under sea-level, for some reason.
4. The Warrenton City Park
The Warrenton City Park is under sea-level and has been flooded since December, 1992.
3. The North Coast Business Park
The North Coast Business Park is conveniently located off of Highway 101, and about 2-3 feet below sea level. It’s unique location and geography makes it the perfect place for formula retail, big box stores, as well as Skipanon River 2.0 and the re-located Point Adams Packing Co.
2. Warrenton’s Mayoral Mansion
Mayor Balensifer, the current resident of the Warrenton Mayor’s Mansion, has made several improvements to the structure. Most notably, he has raised it about 20 feet from the swamp to avoid flooding. He has also added some attractive lanterns and a cooking cauldron to the front “yard” of the mansion.
1. The Original Warrenton Warrior Statue, Jetty Lagoon
Yeah, there’s another one out there and he’s about 15 feet below sea level, located near the shores of the Jetty Lagoon in Hammond. Little is known about who constructed the statue or when it was built.
Local Pacific Coast Seafood scientists hypothesize that the Warrenton Warrior was once above sea level, built by the Clatsop tribe as a warning to English fur traders crossing the Columbia River bar. They beleive this because a transcription etched onto the Warrior roughly translates to, “It’s really flat and swampy here on this part of the river. Why don’t you check out Astoria or the northern parts near Dismal Nitch? You wont get as wet over there.” But, you know, now that Obamacare melted the Antarctic ice sheet, the original Warrenton Warrior statue is under 15 feet of water.
So, there you have it. The top places most under sea level in Warrenton, Oregon. Go Warriors!
Best,
The Warrenton Warrior (not the original one under water)
The Warrenton Warrior Reader 